Editor’s Note: We here at TBAW are very excited to announce that Blazer will now be online at! For so many years, UCC’s humour publication has existed only at the back of Convergence, limited to one issue a month. No longer; Blazer now has an online home where the frequency of its articles will be much higher. So look for the Blazer page in the menu on the top right of the website! Just to clarify, Blazer is still independent from TBAW and will continue to appear in Convergence. Anyways, The TBAW staff apologizes in advance for everything stupid that the Blazer staff will inevitably write. – SL

By Andrew Spear (instagram: andrewspear1)


As that very special time of year in which it becomes too hot for a coat yet to cold for just a suit jacket, love and romance once again was in the air. The Battalion Ball was upon us, the most prestigious of all college events (so called because “UCC formal’ would be far to plebeian) to be held, as tradition dictated, at least a forty minute drive from the nearest residential neighbourhood. After my time at  Battalion ball this year it is easy to see why Battalion Ball (or “Batt ball” as the cool kids are known to call it) is such a big deal at our school. I have summarized my night as such:


April 4th 2014: night of the Battalion Ball

List of UCC's Most Prominent Climbers: Jack Hidi, Henry v S.
List of UCC’s Most Prominent Climbers: This Mysterious Gentleman, Henry v S.


 By Connor Bullock

The March Break this year was both relaxing and a banger for many graduating students in Toronto. On the 7th, 8th, and 9th, private and public schools from all over the city travelled to the island of Nassau in the Bahamas to celebrate the fact that we might graduate. The schools that travelled include: UCC, SMC, BSS, HC, BH, Lawrence Park, Forest Hill, Northern, North Toronto, and Leaside.

By David Symmonds

Hey buddays, it’s time for what you’ve all been waiting for: the second installment of the famous Ebb and Flow of Time series. Now those not completely endeared to “brook life” may be able to remember the pilot article of the series, which concerned itself with the various hairstyles of everyone’s favorite guy, Muammar Gaddafi. Now I have the inestimable pleasure of introducing our second entry, “The Flow of Legends.” #it’sabanger

We’re looking at the heroes of Greek myth, men of chiseled features and mammoth deadlifts, men who fought terrifying monsters and held stimulating philosophical conversations with beautiful sea nymphs.

Coming in at #4 on our flow ranking is Theseus, a champion of epic proportions. Triumphing over the voracious Ancient Greek equivalent of man-bear-pig, Theseus shows in the following picture just how much time heroes spend in the SAS.

Verboom can step to Theseus.

Unfortunately, Theseus’s flow is rather disappointing. Though practical Minotaur-fighting purposes may have factored into his chosen coiffure, his hair is clipped back like he’s Helen of Troy, and that’s only going to net him fourth spot.