DaCosta’s Dating Advice

Sevion DaCosta

First to set the record straight I am no expert on dating. However, I think conversation with the other sex is a topic that we don’t discuss enough; and instead of watching 30 million videos of the effect drugs and alcohol has on teens, I believe our schools sex-ed classes should discuss interaction with the other sex more.

Happy [day after]Valentine’s Day my people!!

How do I start a conversation with a girl? 

I think the first place we should start and probably the most difficult spot for someone is conversation. When approaching a girl, you should always be yourself. Although it may sound cliché, your first impression is important. If you put on a “front” and act like someone you aren’t, after the first interaction, you will not have great success talking to the person, as you’ve changed. However be friendly and interested in building a friendship. Start with a simply “Hey” and then ask her about her favourite sports, movies, how she likes to spend her free time.

How do I start a conversation with a girl that I like? 

This is a little harder for most people because nerves get in the way. However, as we teach during Mock Trial Club meetings (Fridays at Lunch in room CC3) use the 20/80 rule like you would in a direct examination. Ask a lot of questions and let her talk; learn about her as much as possible. Be interested in what she has to say.

How do I enter the DMs (direct messages)?

With the growth of technology many first interactions happen online rather than in person. With this being said, the same rules apply as the previous two questions. Be engaged and interested. When you are messaging someone, understand that you will be leading the conversation until you both feel comfortable. The hardest part of the DMs for most people is finding a time to ask someone for their number. The transition should be smooth and can be an easy question to ask if you know the person has some interest in you. I have friends that are terrified to “enter the dms” to that I say try it, as the experience will help you in other regards.

What happens if you like someone that doesn’t like you? 

I personally believe that you shouldn’t waste your time liking someone that doesn’t like you. There are multiple different theories about this, and the idea of “getting out the friend zone.”

Being in a relationship

Avoid changing the type of person you; you got the girl from being yourself, so continue to be who you were at the beginning. If you texted her every morning at first, continue this if she’s your girlfriend. A relationship is all about learning to balance. At UCC we are busy between academics, athletics and clubs. So a relationship may not be right for everyone.