Welcome to “Aramark Meal Review” – where I, Alex/Arex Nguyen/Newyen/Nuhgooyen, part-time IB student and full-time Aramark Vet (4 Years a Boarder) attempt to review the best and worst Aramark has to offer.
To fully enjoy the Aramark Meal Review, one must understand the criterions in which I apply to every culinary adventure that is an Aramark Meal Review. (Refer to Numero Uno for Detailed Breakdown): Nutritional Value, Overall Flavour, Texture, General Enjoy-ability
“Arex it’s been four months since your last meal review, what happened?!?” Simple: December Exams -> Senior Slide.
But why now? Why WAC day? Well, after a hard day of religiously attending what would sadly be my last WAC, I was left with an I.A that “I’ll for sure hand in next week” (sorry, Mr. Jeffrey) and a couple hours on my hands. So, fueled by a wave of ecstasy brought forth by the knowledge of B-Radical life extension I said: “let’s write something future me would be proud of”. And then I went and started an Aramark Meal Review instead.
I’m going to start first with the Salad Bar. I gave it an 8-9/10 in my previous review, four months ago. But we were new acquaintances then, barely lovers. I saw the best in her, she saw the best in me. Now, five months in, I love her still, but I’ve settled down a bit. I’ve come to appreciate the nuances, both good and bad, of the beloved bar… until someone took the chicken away. I might be mistaken, and it all might just be instances of bad luck, or a new meal schedule, or even complete blindness on my part, but for weeks I’ve scoured the Salad Bar after eating the half-pinky of glazed salmon given to us, hungry, desperate for sustenance, only to leave empty handed. How can I call my salad a SAS-approved gains-bowl if 2/3 of it isn’t rubberized protein? What texture is left when the grey-matter of gains is gone? What would it be like to eat a salad without the culinary equivalent of the Head Steward Q&A balancing out the 2 ladles of vinaigrette I added “cuz I’m g0ing kEto, bronastonado”?
Look, I don’t care if you offer flaked tuna now. No! It’s not the same. You know what? I can’t do this anymore. It’s not me. It’s definitely you. You’ve changed. I took the L and now you’re just a Salad Bar. It’s over, we’re done.
Salad Bar: Broken Heart/10
Pre-made Caesar salad without the soggy croutons’ pretty good though, 5.5-8/10
Rant over. On to beef stroganoff with egg noodle.
Thomas Hickman, three-year vet, here for a good time not a long time (paraphrased):
It was pretty good. The seasoning was nice; the gravy was good. The mushrooms weren’t bad either. Meat not overcooked or dry, maybe a bit salty though. Peas were decent. Egg noodles were finely made. Greenery: no comment. 8/10
Healthy, delicious. I personally think it was one of the best noodles I’ve had with Aramark, hearty and full. The mushrooms added a nice, padded crunch to the otherwise sturdy yet not chewy beef. Greenery: sublime. Overall: 8/10
Cake: its Keto, bro. no carbs / 10
Fresh fruit: wait are there carbs in fruit? / 10
Ice Cream Bar: I only eat gelato now / 10
Up next (maybe?): AMR — The Decline of Beef Fajitas