Advice to a Year One

Nicolas Papoutsidis


In trying to decide upon a topic for my first submission to TBAW, I wanted to write an entry that would be somewhat conservative, while bold enough to highlight my originality and ability. After careful consideration I decided to forgo this desire, opting instead to submit a piece that drew inspiration (was copied) from a work submitted less than a week ago by Bradley Manucha. Now, being in FY and having experienced less Stewards Dances and Batt Balls than Bradley, I can almost assure you that my recollection of Year One is far less hazy than his. For this reason, and that I am only two years removed from grade eight,  I believe that I am immensely qualified to give advice to a Year One (who will most likely never read this). So, without further ado, here are my suggestions to current and future bottom feeders of the Upper School:

  1. Join a club. Don’t wait until your third year to join a club; start early and become familiar with it.
  2. Don’t be foolish in class. You will have some of these teachers later on (hey Ms. Remtulla).
  3. Befriend older guys. They can show you the ropes and help you pickup… “excellent life skills!”
  4. Have fun. Pretty generic, soccer mom stuff. Year One is relatively insignificant, so go out and enjoy yourself while you can. Don’t have too much fun though, you sick perverts.
  5. Don’t go to the LD. Trust me on this one.
  6. Walk around the crest in the foyer. Standard practice.
  7. Finish your hours early. You will have enough things to do later on.
  8. Bring doughnuts for house breakfast. This is an effective way to make friends within your house.
  9. Look presentable. Invest in a vest; your grade will jump by 10% easy. Get some decent shoes. A pair of argyle socks will give you that 1930’s golfer look that you’ve always wanted. (Also, ignore the fact that you’re taking advice on appearance from someone whose hair looks like Pebbles from the Flintstones).
  10. Courses. Drop French in Year 2. Take Spanish or Latin. Take Comp-Sci in Y2 and pray you get Mr. Olds. BTA is a solid 95 in FY. Writer’s Craft is always good (extra points, Mr Dick?)! As for the IB, talk to the friends you made from the doughnuts you brought in.

Good Luck.

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