By Matthew Bu

Alex Green has played pivotal roles in such plays as ‘Never Swim Alone’ and ‘Twelfth Night.’ He writes for the acclaimed comedy article ‘The Blazer’ and plays the saxophone of UCC’s jazz band. He is also UCC’s new creativity steward. TBAW recently took some time to talk with him. Here’s what he had to say.

TBAW: Would you rather fight 50 duck sized horses or 1 horse sized duck and why?

Green: The horse-sized duck. I’d use my way with animals and strong communication skills I learned from my 1-day stint in debate club to gain its companionship. Who’d want to mess with a guy with a sword on a horse-sized duck (at this point I’ve acquired a sword)?

TBAW: What do you like to do in your pastime?

Green: I like to stand in walk-in freezers at nearby delis naked, covered in margarine, while playing the mandolin. Also I like reading a nice book now and again.

TBAW: If you could have one superpower, what would it be and why?

Green: Super good looks – OH WAIT I ALREADY HAVE THOSE AHAHAHAHA AHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA AHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA I’m sorry I had no choice they’re forcing me to write this please help

TBAW: Who is your favorite celebrity and why?

Green: I really like Nicholas Cage. I think that the sincerity that he portrays in his roles is unparalleled, and that he really commits to eveyr character he plays.All of his choices are very thought out and he really shows that it takes a lot of work to be a ‘professional actor’. Also his subreddit is lols (r/onetrueGod).