Hero Burger Comes to the Village

Looks like Aramark has some new competition in the campaign for childhood obesity

By TBAW Staff Writer

Hero Burger has arrived in the Village, replacing an Italian restaurant whose name has already been forgotten. This burger joint may be branded as a cut above your typical fast food, but the vast quantities of grease they pack into their burgers would beg to differ. Their laughably named “Hero Sauce” seems to suggest that the diet of heroes today includes liquid cellulite, and their fries are Swiss Chalet soggy. That being said, it is the only burger joint in the village and their food isn’t outrageously expensive, so it’s worth a try. Plus, they have one of the most high-tech fountain drink dispensers in the city.

The building itself isn’t great, mostly because of how small it is. You’ll have a hard time imagining that it used to house a restaurant, and it seems as though the doorway was built for Hobbits. It’s not as tight for space as the cramped yet universally adored Sushi Lovers, but it’s lacking the kind of supersized feel that you expect at a greasy fast food joint.

Verdict: It may not be the finest the village has to offer, but it’s worth trying out. Maybe go during a spare.