The Ebb and Flow of Time

TBAW is proud to introduce a new series, The Ebb and Flow of Time, in which we will be analyzing hair throughout the ages. In this pilot article, we take a look at the style that defined the recently deceased dictator, Muammar Gaddafi.

Hairstyles have been a fixture of the male appearance since the dawn of time. But one great trendsetter in the field of human features, God, has been said to have sported divine flow from time to time, as well as an immaculate beard.

From Hercules to Johnny Cassels, such flourishing hair has been admired for millennia. Therefore, it is quite difficult to accord the title of best flow throughout the ages. Zeus, Flowseidon, and Saladin (see below) have all recognized the value of a fantastic coiffure.

Yet who, who in our modern, apathetic, boring times can compare to such lords of the cranial pelt? Enter Muammar Gaddafi. Or Quaddafi. Or Quadaffi. Perhaps “The Muammar”? In any event, we are gathered here today, not to analyze the nomenclature employed by the Gaddaffi family, but the hairstyles employed by its favourite son, The Muammar. Beginning with his hair as a young man, merely aspiring to break international law, we can observe this Seinfeld-esque style. It is clear that Quadafi is on whom Seinfeld modeled his hairdo.

Further on in the life of the illustrious oppressor, a closer, quieter cut is employed. This is most likely to achieve the, as a homeless man so eloquently remarked of my hair this previous Saturday, the “mister cleaned up guy going to see the stock broker” look. True story.

Fast forward to Gaddaffi circa 1986. Luscious curls now percolate from the cranium of our favourite dictator. This unstoppable deluge of hair must have sent the members of the all female “Amazonian Guard” into a frenzy, and one can only imagine the antics this stud of a colonel got up to back at the barracks.

Unfortunately, we have now reached an abysmal period in the history of Khadafi’s hair.

Opting for the heroin addict/permanent hangover look, our beloved despot seems to have spent too much time in the Libyan sun and exhibits signs of melting. The chin flow does not augment the unwashed hair, and in fact the facial skin could do with some serious Botox.

Although it may have seemed as though he could not get any worse, Gadquaffi has once again confounded the ludicrous arguments of his asinine detractors. We end our analysis with the above photo. It pictures the dictator looking like he has French class at 8 o’clock after a night of roughhousing with the Amazonian Guard. Photo evidence from confirms our suspicions, not least of which being his beauty status.