Article Summary
An alien scientist, Gubhall Jam, goes to Earth to research a new species…
Author Bio
Ferrari Zhang is a publisher of foreign texts in the Yingleesh and Chaineez speech variants of humans. He met Gubhall while on a trip to the US and helped him translate his diary.
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Translated into the Human speech variant which they call “Yingleesh”. The people that speak it seem to have the most guns, so according to Human behavior that particular speech variant seems to be widely spoken.
Gemem 1, Fęrd 1 of Abim 36 (editor’s note: January 5th, 2021)
Hi, this is Gubhall Jam’s journal, and the Central Command has given my intern Jeb Jibra and me three fęrd (editor’s note: 100 millionths of a galactic year; three fęrd is 6 years and 9 months)’s time to investigate a unique specimen on an unnamed pale blue planet in the Solar System. They originally thought that it was a viral bloom: the way it expanded upon the planet resembled one. However, when the Central Command tried to exterminate them with RNA Breaker® none of it stopped.
Further investigations landed in inopportune places: one of my friends, Ablam Ghad, landed in a greenfield 5 abims (editor’s note: 1 abim = 10 fęrds) ago and, according to his companion’s journal, was dismembered by a herd of white hide, black-furred specimens who covered themselves in white robes to be distinguished from the other specimens. Another, Wib Adem, landed with me in the middle of a wasteland 3.6 abims ago and was immediately blown to pieces by an emaciated crockpot wearing variant, while I escaped with my life. That specimen was thinner than a matchstick! How did it produce so much force that it blew Wibby apart? I don’t get it. And why did I survive?
Anyways, I hope I have better luck this time. All for Kurum!
Gemem 2, Fęrd 1 of Abim 36 (editor’s note: January 6th, 2021)
Hi, this is Gubhall Jam’s journal. As always, in the name of science, Central Command has me in the worst place possible. Here’s what happened: I landed in the water. I tasted it. That was a bad idea, because three specimens immediately dragged me out and started shouting at me. Jeb, who
landed on hard ground, started talking to them in vain. That was when someone pulled out a metal stick that I recognized all too well from 3.6 abims ago: oh my Kurum, that was the thing that blew Wibby apart! I ran in horror. To be continued…
The Blue and White 