Welcome to “Aramark Meal Review” – where I, Alex/Arex Nguyen/Newyen/Nuhgooyen, part-time IB student and full-time Aramark Vet (4 Years a Boarder) attempt to review the best and worst Aramark has to offer.
To fully enjoy the Aramark Meal Review, one must understand the criterions in which I apply to every culinary adventure that is an Aramark Meal Review. (Refer to Numero Uno for Detailed Breakdown): Nutritional Value, Overall Flavour, Texture, General Enjoyability (how it’s received)
You may be wondering, Arex, you seem like a studious, upstanding member of UCC who hands stuff in on time, why did Numero Dos take so long? The answer is I’ve been waiting for the re-emergence of either the famed Tikka Beef Stew or the notorious Chicken Masala — a.k.a Gangrene Chicken.
So here you have it: Tikka Beef Stew
Let’s talk about the salad bar first. The UD salad bar is to day boys at lunch the all-you-can-eat-ice-cream-bar to boarders at dinner — kind of. It’s the one thing that’s consistently good, and where the remaining 20% of the Aramark Budget goes to. It’s a shame because its true cost is the integrity, relevance, and essence of the LD. RIP LD ‘15. Anyhow, many options, healthy, a lot of textures involved. Overall Aramark 8-9/10 (depends on your saladry)
Now to the main dish. Here we have the 5 Spice Potato Wedges and the Tika Beef Stew with a side of ketchup.
I’m going to talk first about the baby carrots, however. No, I didn’t eat them myself. No, I don’t have photos of them. Keenan “Diversify Your Portfolio” Conlon had the pleasure of having them, and while they tasted like carrots, were too soft to be picked up by a fork. Classic display of culinary know-how. We all love it when vegetables feel like mush. 5/10.
Anyhow. Back to the main attraction. The potato wedges weren’t actually bad, had what looked to be spices on them (which should help, right?) and, for the weary, a healthy dollop of ketchup made it into a palatable side. Carbs are always needed, tastes like potatoes, wasn’t mush. It wasn’t a win, but wasn’t a loss. So basically it’s an Aramark win. 7/10. Ketchup – 10/10 (this is pretty much self-explanatory).
- Nutritional Value – I mean technically beef = protein and protein = gains and gains fill that deep void of insecurity you’ve built while growing up chubby and being bullied by kids all throughout kindergarded … my point is that the overall flavour affected the average amount consumed, and the average UCC dood didn’t get his macros right for this meal. 4.5/10. For more information reach this: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/food/calories/aramark-canada-on-campus-tikka-beef-stew-253330857. *no idea how and why I have that saved but here you go*
- Overall Flavour – Ok first of all I don’t even know what category this beef stew falls into. It’s supposed to be Indian, but all the Indian people in boarding say it’s not. It’s not normal beef stew, either, that’s for sure. 3/10
- Texture – the combination of mystery sauce and overcooked beef can’t be described without E.W’s banhammer so I’ll just leave a score. 1/10
- General Enjoyability – 1.5/10. The uneaten food bin was a sight.
Now I don’t have any photos or opinions on the vegetarian options or the soup. Why? Well, because 1. Its chicken-noodle soup. 2. I don’t even want to begin thinking about what the vegetarian option would taste like.
Finally, we have the meal’s dessert, cookies. This gets a 5/10 on the SAS nutrition scale as it is nothing but empty carbs and sugars, and tasted at a good 8/10. Aramark cookies are never too bad … somehow.
OVERALL MEAL SCORE – Aramark 3/10